olutowoju Ogunleye – ContextAid

The Principle of Politeness in Communication

Some interactions tend to lead to combative exchanges and dangerous deductions: a person might say one thing and mean another entirely, and someone else might infer wrongly about the topic of discussion. People seldom engage in interactions that are purposely antagonistic or lead to infelicitous implications. When a breakdown in communication occurs, it is because interlocutors flout conversational rules. We do not learn these rules (or maxims) – they follow a Politeness Principle, which proposes that a communicator should minimise the expression of impolite beliefs. Essentially, the purpose of the Politeness Principle is to establish the feeling of community and social connection.

Let’s take a look at these maxims.

Tact. Ever had to deal with some people who do not care if they hurt others by what they say? They are quick to give directives in a tone that makes others feel subservient. This maxim proposes that we can instruct in a manner that does not cost others their dignity or sense of connection to us. We could say:

“Why don’t you scoot over so I can sit beside you?”

Instead of

“Move!”

Generosity. At some point in our conversations, we may have been guilty of expressing what we presume to be sound advice, but must have come out as a know-it-all’s opinion. If we must impose our views or suggestions on others, we can be less authoritative about it. Here’s an example:

“That red dress is divine! You must wear it.”

Approbation. We can avoid saying unpleasant things about other people by using expressions that maximise praise, compliment and appreciation for others. We are not insincere; we are just polite people.

“That was a wonderful rendition.”

Modesty. It is in good taste when we downplay our achievements- we appear to be less demonstrable about our abilities and successes. We are not pretending not to care about our achievements; we are just showing common courtesy.

A: Thanks for fixing my car.

B: It was nothing at all.

Agreement. Sometimes, disagreements arise because we want to assert our beliefs and opinions over and above others. We can express our disagreements without making our fellow communicators lose face. You can disagree and not be disagreeable.

A: That was an awful movie.

B: Possibly, but the costumes were excellent.

Sympathy. We should be quick to express compliments and be sympathetic. No antagonism and antipathy allowed.

“I’m sorry to hear about your father’s accident.”

“Congratulations on the completion of your thesis.”

To achieve successful conversations and interactions, our expressions should reflect refinement, diplomacy and sensitivity to how others feel. We are people with couth, after all.

Source: Geoffrey Leech’s Principles of Pragmatics

You Know What I Mean?

Have you ever tried expressing your thoughts, but correctly stringing the words together seems to be a tedious task? Of course, you do know what you want to say, but the moment the words roll out, they look like a mismatched puzzle board. Sometimes, you are not sure if you should use a full stop or a comma, so you resort to not using any at all. You believe, that way, it is better to make your readers think it was just a simple mistake of omission rather than be known as not understanding punctuation. Well, one thing is for sure, the incorrect use of language leaves an awful taste in the mouths of your readers.

We all want to be understood; however, when what we say does not come out right, we quickly lose our audience. There are some who insist that accurate usage of language is overrated. As long as you are intelligible, who should care if than and then or your and you’re are not interchangeable? The context of their use should tell you what the writer is trying to say, anyway. In my opinion, that sounds lazy and downright rude!

Naturally, we try to put our best foot forward in everything we do; and writing is not an exception. To show you have a good command of a language is to understand that writing correct sentences and appropriately expressing the senses they carry in context ought to complement one another.

Although you might have a rich and vibrant lexicon to feed your writing, a good writer understands the needs of readers and meets them. A discerning writer does not only meet their needs, they are also aware of how their writing impacts the readers. Therefore, it is germane that you are mindful of how and what you write; no one wants to be bludgeoned to death by the blows of bad grammar and poor language use. Be considerate.

It does not hurt to adopt Crystal clarity as a part of your writing style. Imagine having to read a piece of writing with no verbs, pauses (short or long), and has so many wrong spellings. Yes, we know you are trying to say something, but it is just so difficult to grasp. In the absence of punctuation and necessary parts of speech, reaching the idea the writer wants to pass across might be a tiresome activity. Consider these:

Let’s eat dad.

The question is: are you calling us to join you in the act of cannibalism, or your request is to have a meal with your father? Which is it? The right placement of punctuation marks will solve the dilemma, like this:

Let’s eat, dad.

Here is another.

I could strangle him with my bear hands.

Wait a minute! I have only heard of werewolves, and even that belongs in the realm of fairy tales. What is it with sharing body parts with a bear?

But jokes apart…

Writing ought to be a venture that is enjoyable on the parts of both the author and the reader. The onus nevertheless is on the writer to present a memorable and gratifying piece in terms of content and organisation. Hence, having a firm grasp on the grammar of the language with which you are communicating/writing is an essential aspect to consider. Doing that will place you on the right path on your writing journey.

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