Some interactions tend to lead to combative exchanges and dangerous deductions: a person might say one thing and mean another entirely, and someone else might infer wrongly about the topic of discussion. People seldom engage in interactions that are purposely antagonistic or lead to infelicitous implications. When a breakdown in communication occurs, it is because interlocutors flout conversational rules. We do not learn these rules (or maxims) – they follow a Politeness Principle, which proposes that a communicator should minimise the expression of impolite beliefs. Essentially, the purpose of the Politeness Principle is to establish the feeling of community and social connection.
Let’s take a look at these maxims.
Tact. Ever had to deal with some people who do not care if they hurt others by what they say? They are quick to give directives in a tone that makes others feel subservient. This maxim proposes that we can instruct in a manner that does not cost others their dignity or sense of connection to us. We could say:
“Why don’t you scoot over so I can sit beside you?”
Instead of
“Move!”
Generosity. At some point in our conversations, we may have been guilty of expressing what we presume to be sound advice, but must have come out as a know-it-all’s opinion. If we must impose our views or suggestions on others, we can be less authoritative about it. Here’s an example:
“That red dress is divine! You must wear it.”
Approbation. We can avoid saying unpleasant things about other people by using expressions that maximise praise, compliment and appreciation for others. We are not insincere; we are just polite people.
“That was a wonderful rendition.”
Modesty. It is in good taste when we downplay our achievements- we appear to be less demonstrable about our abilities and successes. We are not pretending not to care about our achievements; we are just showing common courtesy.
A: Thanks for fixing my car.
B: It was nothing at all.
Agreement. Sometimes, disagreements arise because we want to assert our beliefs and opinions over and above others. We can express our disagreements without making our fellow communicators lose face. You can disagree and not be disagreeable.
A: That was an awful movie.
B: Possibly, but the costumes were excellent.
Sympathy. We should be quick to express compliments and be sympathetic. No antagonism and antipathy allowed.
“I’m sorry to hear about your father’s accident.”
“Congratulations on the completion of your thesis.”
To achieve successful conversations and interactions, our expressions should reflect refinement, diplomacy and sensitivity to how others feel. We are people with couth, after all.
Source: Geoffrey Leech’s Principles of Pragmatics
